1ngi: (Default)
posted by [personal profile] 1ngi at 04:30pm on 12/06/2017 under
It's been a bad couple of years. 2 years ago my hands crapped out, and we could no longer manage our 1.5 acre rural dream. It took nearly 18 months to sell the house and move. You may remember me mentioning before that I used to work with Jo Cox during my time at Oxfam. We were not close or anything - just professional colleagues. I know her death and the manner of it shocked everyone but looking back it shook me deeply. The Brexit vote followed and waking up that morning was I think one of the saddest days of my life.

From then until Friday morning, I feel like I have been living under this oppressive black cloud, choking the hope out of me. I couldn't understand why it appeared to that such a huge chunk of the population on this island were so keen on creeping fascism and bigotry. I kept trying to remind myself that negative news is not the reality. All those years of working in the ethical/charity sector, suddenly thinking that being someone who wanted a better world for everyone was in the minority. 

Leading up to the election I started wondering about emigrating somewhere. Sion and I even talked about it. I felt cowardly for thinking about 'running away' but since my hands became unreliable I think I've felt so vulnerable (I suppose that's understandable). I started to worry about how Sion and I were perceived when we were out and about. We've experienced homophobia occasionally but before the referendum I did not give a shit. As this year has worn on, I started to feel cowed about being out as a queer couple. 

I know this election has resulted in a big huge mess of crap to sort out, but for the first time in a year I feel like I can breathe. 52% of people voted progressively. 

I've obviously been experiencing some sort of depression. It's kind of miraculous that it's lifted suddenly. I have renewed admiration of those who can be brave when they are in a minority.

"Hope is the thing with feathers That perches in the soul, And sings the tune without the words, And never stops at all,"

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