1ngi: (looks a *bit* like me)
posted by [personal profile] 1ngi at 08:51pm on 04/01/2016 under , ,

"I've done such a great job at pretending to be normal that nobody really believes that I have Asperger’s”

I’ve been a keen observer of Asperger folk for many years. I’ve even prided myself on being a bit of an Aspie-whisperer with loved ones and colleagues. I’ve been a Henrick to a Saga, a Leonard to a Sheldon, a Watson to a Sherlock. I’m married to a wonderful person who is on the ASD spectrum - our relationship of 10 years has been the source of some of the happiest days of my life but our communication difficulties mean that we regularly confront painful times.

This weekend I had perhaps one of the biggest emotional meltdowns I’ve ever had - to the point of being unable to function properly for several days. However, I hid most of it from everyone around me. All they say was me being unwell, in pain and unable to come along to social functions.Read more... )
1ngi: (gardening)
posted by [personal profile] 1ngi at 06:57pm on 24/12/2015

Didn't manage to get the decorations up this year but did do a little bit of faff with some narcissi and some fairy lights :) Here's hoping that 2016 will be a good year for you and yours xxx
1ngi: (gardening)
posted by [personal profile] 1ngi at 04:38pm on 07/09/2015 under

Hiya,
Sadly due to health, but also a desire to live nearer my family in the next town, we have put our lovely house and holiday let on the market: http://www.zoopla.co.uk/for-sale/details/37996330?search_identifier=96c4e501594701baba4f04d0aaa5ba06

If you know anyone who wants to live the Rural Dream, our place on the western edge of the Brecon Beacons might just suit them, please let them know :) Thank you!
1ngi: (gardening)
posted by [personal profile] 1ngi at 07:02pm on 02/07/2015 under ,


I want to write my heart out on a page, lay out my fears and joys and name them.

Realise some painful truths... )
Trying to find a new dream... )
1ngi: (days out)
posted by [personal profile] 1ngi at 01:51pm on 26/04/2015
Seren Lofft
I am going to have a go at offering some one day art courses and creative mentoring at Seren Loft. I thought this might be a nice way to offer some extras that tie in with what I'm up to as well. So we'll see. Also just a reminder that I still offer a family and friends a 25% discount.
1ngi: (looks a *bit* like me)
posted by [personal profile] 1ngi at 03:02pm on 03/04/2015
First heard this song as a teenager and puzzled over the lyrics not really comprehending them in my heart, just loving the beautiful harmonies. Heard again today for the first time in years and suddenly I *know* what it means (for me). I can take the pebble from my shoe.



Where are you going?
Where are you going?
Can you take me with you?
For my hand is cold
And needs warmth
Where are you going?

Far beyond where the horizon lies
Where the horizon lies
And the land sinks into mellow blueness
Oh please, take me with you

Let me skip the road with you
I can dare myself
I can dare myself
I'll put a pebble in my shoe
And watch me walk (watch me walk)
I can walk and walk!
(I can walk!)

I shall call the pebble Dare
I shall call the pebble Dare
We will talk, we will talk together
We will talk (chorus) about walking
Dare shall be carried
And when we both have had enough
I will take him from my shoe, singing:
"Meet your new road!"
Then I'll take your hand
Finally glad
Finally glad
That you are here
By your side/By my side

By your side/By my side
By your sideBy my side
By your side/By my side


(Peggy Gorden/Jay Hamburger)
1ngi: (art)
posted by [personal profile] 1ngi at 08:03pm on 17/02/2015
Iago by Grace Petrie



You know that I'm my own worst enemy
Always trying to wreck what's right in front of me
Doesn't mean that I don't understand
That everytime I force your gentle hand
To come and comfort me
I make myself your enemy

So lay me down my darling
In your bed
You lay my demons all to rest

But there's Iago sitting on my shoulder
Everytime I hold her
Telling me I'm never gonna make the grade
Telling me I'm stupid
Kinda self deluded
If I think I've got my happy ending made

And everytime he calls it ends up in a fall
He stands there and he doesn't help me at all
Sometimes I think that I'm
Just running out of time
Just heading for the crime
When I let myself break my heart with my own two hands
Put a bullet in the head of the great romance of my life
And I know that Iago
Will be the only one left alive

Sometimes I just don't have the energy
To be the things I'm meant to be
But everytime you take me in your arms
It's like you drown out the alams
Going off inside of me
Nothing but serenity, yeah

So lay me down my darling
In your bed
You lay my demons all to rest

But there's Iago sitting on my shoulder
Everytime I hold her
Telling me I'm never gonna make the grade
Telling me I'm stupid
Kinda self deluded
If I think I've got my happy ending made

And everytime he calls it ends up in a fall
He stands there and he doesn't help me at all
Sometimes I think that I'm
Just running out of time
Just heading for the crime
When I let myself break my heart with my own two hands
Put a bullet in the head of the great romance of my life
And I know that Iago
Will be the only one left alive

He'll be the only one left alive
He'll be the only one left alive
You know that I'm my own worst enemy

Mood:: 'crushed' crushed
1ngi: (looks a *bit* like me)
posted by [personal profile] 1ngi at 01:18am on 27/01/2015 under


"Sacrifice" Björk

Why can't you give her room?
Respect her spatial needs.
I feel you compress her
Into a small space.

With clairvoyance,
She knew what you needed,
And gave it to you.
Now her desires are repressed;
Arrows in the flesh

When she found your love,
Her nature bowed her head;
She surrendered,
She renounced the world for you,
Now she's poisoned by demands
You cannot answer.

Why this sacrifice?
Now she regrets the whole thing,
A delayed reaction
When she left her craft voluntarily
For your nest, for your love.
Did you understand?

Appreciate,
Build a bridge to her.
Initiate a touch
Before it's too late,
Say the words to her
That will make her shine.

Tell her that you love her.

Your generosity will show
In the volume of her glow.
1ngi: (looks a *bit* like me)
posted by [personal profile] 1ngi at 06:24pm on 16/11/2014
Look what we grewed!

In the relatively new tradition of my pudding mash ups, this is my take on Banoffee Pie (without the bananas) via a nod to Pumpkin Pie. This came about because I was making a special meal for when my Ma-in-Law visited and her favourite pudding is Banoffee Pie, however, my best beloved will not even allow bananas in the house. Butternut squash makes a far superiour pumkin pie than actual pumkins in my opinion and so I got to thinking about combining the two.

Borrowing heavily from Jamie Oliver’s quick Banoffee Pie recipe, I made the adaptations as follows.

1 pie crust (store bought or in my case made from scratch as I am gluten free)
Half a medium butternut squash (the straight bit not the bit with the seeds in)
100ml milk
1/2 tsp salt
1/2 tsp freshly grated nutmeg
1 tsp ground cinnamon
5 tbsp caster sugar
300ml cream
1 tsp instant coffee dissolved in 1 tbsp water
100g block dark chocolate

Cut the squash in quarters lengthways. Place in a roasting tin slicked with 3/4 tbsp of water skin side up and roast for 20 mins at 180C. You want them nice and soft. Allow to cool and remove the skins.
Blitz the squash with the milk, spices and salt until smooth.
In a pan over high heat melt the caster sugar. Don’t stir it, just swirl it gently in the pan until it goes a dark caramel colour
Add the squash milk mixture to the caramel - which will suddenly go toffee like. Don’t worry just keep, stirring until the toffee melts back into the mixture.
Pour into the pie case and freeze for 20 minutes (or leave in the fridge for a couple of couple of hours)
Whip cream and then swirl the coffee into it to make ripples and spoon it on top of the pie.
Make chocolate shavings - scrape a sharp knife at 45 degrees across the chocolate towards you. Sprinkle over the cream

(I’m still figuring out if I can make this dairy free - but finding an acceptable alternative is ongoing. I could make the squash caramel and then assemble it as a dairy-free ice-cream sundae layer thingy.)
1ngi: (gardening)
posted by [personal profile] 1ngi at 02:07pm on 11/07/2014 under
Cranouti

This mad idea popped into my head last night and I was completely surprised as to how lovely it was - the Auld Alliance in food-form. The basic recipe is from the blueberry version from River Cottage (which is also wonderful). I put in extra egg yolks because I'm dairy free and missing a bit of richness, and that made things creamier. The oatmeal was my big worry but it turned out to do something interesting - it sank to the bottom, toasted on the underside of the flan and formed a base that the wobbly deliciousness was sitting on. Self-made flan-case for the win! The whisky was present as an aromatic and the honey took the edge off the sharpness of the raspberries. I believe that the Islay-style whisky (I used Ardbeg, which was in the most memorable Chranachan I ate in their distillery 'Old Kiln' cafe on holiday in Islay) and the Colonsay honey really made it. You have to try this - it was SO good!

1 punnet of raspberries (Anywhere between 225-400g works fine)
1 tbs heather honey
1 measure of an Islay whisky
¼ tsp vanilla extract
50g flour*
25g oatmeal + 1 tsp for topping
100g caster sugar
3 large eggs beaten
250ml milk*
Icing sugar to dust

Preheat oven to 180C. Grease a 25cm baking dish really well, scatter in the raspberries and drizzle them with honey.

Whisk together milk, whisky + vanilla.

Mix the flour and caster sugar together in a bowl. Make a well in the centre  and add the eggs. Gradually combine the flour and the eggs from the outside of the well, mixing well, then beat in milk mixture a little at a time.

Pour the batter over the fruit, sprinkle over a little oatmeal, and bake in the oven for 35 mins until golden. It puffs up and then collapses a bit when you take it out but that's normal. Do not eat it hot, it's best luke-warm or even cold. Dust with icing sugar. It's lovely on its own but I should imagine adding a little cream would complete the Chranachan picture.

Gluten free + dairy free notes
* I used Doves g/f flour no trouble
**I use dairy free fine (my fave is Koko) - but add 3 egg yolks for richness and make up to 250ml.

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